I have a bone to pick with the class of 2029. These DIMWITS keep stopping in the middle of the hallway or walking really slow. One time this freshman stopped in the dead center of a busy staircase to look at her phone and it was REALLY irritating because I was just trying to get to class. Suddenly, I had an epiphany!!! I thought that maybe if we start pushing slow freshmen down the stairs, they’ll speed up. I didn’t do it that time, but I’ve been considering it more and more each time this happens. We need to teach these hooligans a lesson about hallway etiquette. My dear friend also sometimes kicks the back of their knees if they walk too slow. Is this a good idea? Do you have any other suggestions on how to make freshmen walk at a normal speed?

Sincerely,

Someone who wants to get to class on time.

Dear Someone,

We understand where you are coming from. Let it be known that the Ripples Editorial Staff does not condone violence. However, those freshmen sound extremely inconsiderate. We will ignore your questionable tactics for now, and instead provide some advice to any freshmen who might happen to be reading this column. Although you are new to high school, we would advise NOT being a slow walker! We say this out of concern for your safety. As demonstrated by Someone, upperclassmen in particular are HIGHLY aggravated by slow walkers. You do not want to end up like Someone’s friend’s unfortunate victims, who may have suffered a knee injury, or worse. Walking quickly should give you the thrill of doing a random act of kindness, like what they taught us in elementary school. You could be the reason someone makes it to class on time! In contrast, lumbering up the stairs as you peruse Instagram, or read a book, could be the reason someone is late to class. Needless to say, this is unfavorable and extremely annoying to those around you. If you need motivation to walk quickly, imagine you’re not just walking: you’re striding, you’re marching, you’re strutting, you’re power-walking. Doesn’t that sound fun?

Walk faster,

Cahn Soltayshinne

Dear Ed Vice,

Time seems unsolvable to me. I never seem to have enough time. I am always overwhelmed with too much to do, cramming one too many things into my limited day. The strange thing is, whenever I actually have time, I always find a way to fill it up to the point where it’s unmanageable. Am I scared of time?

Sincerely,

Troubled by Time

Dear Troubled, time is an abnormal and complicated concept. There can be so much of it, yet so little at the same time. The Ripples editorial staff has faced similar grievances, especially during layout week. As for ways to manage time, one solution could be to write out the things you need to complete. Whether it be in a planner, on your phone, or even on your hand. If you notice that things are constantly piling up, you could consider letting something go. For example, if you are a part of multiple time-consuming clubs, then it might be best to stop doing the club you enjoy the least. Additionally, it may be helpful to discuss these grievances with another person, especially a classmate that may be in a similar situation. Sometimes when I feel that way, I feel as though I am all alone. However, when I mention these issues to my friends, they express similar feelings and experiences. This makes me feel validated and supported, and it may help you as well. It is important to remember that you are in control of your life, and your time. It is important to organize your time in a way that you enjoy. If you ever want to spend a day laying your bed and watching a show, then you should be able to do that guilt-free. Please remember that you do not always need to have something to do, and it is important to have time to sit with your own thoughts. 

With love,

Cahn Soltayshinne