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Hi Ed Vice,

There’s a guy I really like, but I don’t think he’ll ever like me back. The problem is that I just can’t get over him, no matter what I do. I want to enjoy the rest of my senior year and have fun and date people, but it would feel wrong because it’s not him, but he doesn’t like me so it CAN’T be him! I feel so stuck. How do you get over a guy you like so much? They say love drives you crazy, but for me, that’s not a good type of crazy. I just don’t know what to do.

Sincerely,

Crush-Concerned

Hiii!

Let me just say that this is such a frustrating yet relatable situation. Did you actually tell this guy how you feel? Do you know beyond a reasonable doubt that this man isn’t interested in you? If not, I think it’s totally worth it to strike up a dialogue. I know, I know. It’s so stressful, BUT it could lead to something. Guys aren’t always super outwardly affectionate when they like someone. Who knows, you might just be dealing with a nonchalant type. I’ve been in a situation where I’ve felt this way. Trust me, one conversation can really change a LOT. 

However, if you know for a fact that this guy doesn’t like you, you don’t need to rush to get over him. Definitely don’t enter a relationship to try and forget about the guy you actually like. Firstly, it’s highly likely that you’ll be unsatisfied. You might also end up hurting a nice person. Another thing worth mentioning is that if you’re hurrying yourself into a relationship, you’re not going to be as selective as you could be. The worst case scenario would be that you get hurt while trying to heal.

You can still have fun this year without dating. Your heart isn’t ready right now. You can still branch out without dating. As you enter adulthood, dating is one way of meeting people, but since you’re in school you don’t need to date to make friends.

As per getting over him—don’t rush it. I know it feels bad, but it’s a process that takes time, so you’re gonna have to take some time to yourself. You mentioned feeling stuck. I think maybe you are stuck on a very slow escalator, where you are naturally moving as time passes, but you are also free to walk a little. Just don’t run up the escalator. You aren’t supposed to do that. Trust yourself.

I really hope that things work out as well as possible.

Sincerely,

Cahn, Soltayshinne