I remember as a child having quite a fear of all things that lurk underwater, especially sharks. In my underdeveloped brain, they seemed to have no weaknesses, except for the fact that they cannot come up onto land. Regardless, I still often worried about being attacked on land. Well, the 2014 made-for-television film, Avalanche Sharks explores a world where this is a rational fear. 

Avalanche Sharks starts off strong, with GoPro footage of two teens snowboarding, showing us the setting of the film as well as reminding us of its 2014 release date. It seems that nothing can stop the teenage boys from having fun. Except, of course, for the CGI shark that leaps out of the snow and eats them mere moments later. Meanwhile, three young adults drive to the same ski resort, while the driver tells a story about the “Shark Curse” that the ski resort is under. For some reason, he also mentions that the sharks are intelligent life forms from another planet; a fact that is not only never mentioned again, but is actually replaced by an entirely different backstory later on.

Throughout the film, more pieces of shark lore are revealed. The general consensus of where the sharks originated changes once or twice, but the backstory goes that they decided to stick with is that during the gold rush, people came to the mountains in hopes of becoming rich, and in the process, killed an entire tribe of Native Americans, except for their shaman. The shaman channeled his tears into some totem poles and thus the avalanche sharks were born. You cannot get caught up on this detail if you want to enjoy the movie, because there are so many more parts that have aged weirdly. An example of another iffy aspect of the film is a Japanese character whose only interactions with other characters throughout the entire movie are when someone is talking down to her.

The plot devolves as an avalanche takes place (surprise!) and many forgettable, interchangeable characters get plucked off. The characters keep trying to shoot the sharks and it does not work whatsoever, but they keep doing it. There seems to be no hope, there is no way to kill the sharks. That is, until the Japanese woman who up until this point was just a punching bag with 5 minutes of screentime, reforms the aforementioned totem poles, which she had no way of knowing about, and traps the souls of the sharks. Obviously.

All in all, Avalanche Sharks is a 3/10 movie that hoists itself up to a 6/10 if you watch it with friends. It becomes surprisingly entertaining once you learn to shut off your brain. The running time is only 82 minutes and it is available for free on Pluto TV, Tubi, and Vudu, so you need not worry about wasting precious time or money if you choose to watch. Despite the plot issues, the dumb premise, the casual racism sprinkled from start to end, and a plethora of other problems that I’ve omitted so that you can discover them yourselves, the movie Avalanche Sharks had exactly that; both avalanches and sharks. You get what you came for. I recommend you watch it, if not only to confirm that it wasn’t just a strange nightmare I had.