Things knocked over are bound to fall, chimpanzee owners are bound to be mauled, and pop-stars are bound to be harassed a little. Isn’t that right? It feels so normal to want attention from celebrities. It’s considered a treat when they are seen in normal places, and selfies with celebrities can easily become prized photos. 

However, “HOT TO GO!” singer Chappell Roan finds this strange, asking her audience in a recent TikTok video, “Would you go up to a random lady and say ‘Can I get a photo from you?’” The answer to the question is “no,” most people wouldn’t do that. Most people would feel incredibly awkward asking a stranger for a picture, and they likely wouldn’t even consider doing so. That said, this humility seems to fade a little when it comes to a famous individual. Perhaps this is because celebrities don’t always feel like total strangers because we see them all the time, or maybe their star power overshines our desire for boundaries. Nonetheless, most of us are not buddies with celebs. Unless you are at a meet-and-greet or other event of that nature, asking a celebrity for a photo or autograph will always be a little disruptive, no matter how respectful you are when you ask. This is not to say that it is inherently rude to ask. I’m sure that there are plenty of famous people that would be happy to sign autographs for you. After all, these kinds of requests come with the territory of being a celebrity. It is, however, rude to get upset if you are told “no.” 

Roan touches on this idea in the same TikTok, making the point that nobody would get upset if a stranger didn’t want to take a photo while celebrities are always expected to oblige. Ironically, the response that she received is enough to validate her observations, with hundreds of videos made by former Chappell Roan fanatics calling her entitled. After all, these kinds of requests come with the territory of being a celebrity. Yet, it doesn’t have to be that way, at least for Roan, who has made it clear that she does not enjoy these kinds of fan interactions. With this information, it should be easy for fans to just cut it out.

I’ve written in the past about Mitski, and how she should be regarded as an artist and not a celebrity, and I believe that the same needs to be done for Chappell Roan. Some might not be receptive to this distinction because of Roan’s flashy aesthetics and engaging stage presence. Nevertheless, this is only a testament to her personal style and skillset as a performer—not how grateful she should be to be in the limelight.  Instead of living a pop-star lifestyle, for Roan, her performing seems to be a career, and she should not be obligated to work “off the clock.” In fact, Roan doesn’t owe us anything except for music, and even that she has the right to retire from. While it might be typical to approach a celebrity in public, Roan with her TikTok videos has separated herself from this aspect of the culture, and would therefore be inappropriate to approach. As is common in the industry, “Chappell Roan” is not the musician’s “real” name, and when she exists alone, she has a right to not have to be Chappell. 

Roan was brave in making her statements on TikTok. While at first glance, it might seem trivial to complain about being approached in public as a famous and beloved pop culture figure, I find it important to remind readers about the insidious nature of celebrity fan culture. While a request for a selfie or autograph isn’t problematic on its own, it all changes when the celebrity refuses and the fans push back. When Roan criticizes forceful fans, the names of other performers who have dealt with harassment flood my mind. I remember Britney Spears and the violent harassment she received in the 2000s as mainstream media and the public obsessed over intimate details of her life. I am also reminded of Björk and the way that an obsessed fan attempted to mail an HIV-infested bomb to her upon finding out that she had a boyfriend (but that is an entire story of its own). While these are extreme situations, I cannot help but notice the common theme of fans lashing out when they cannot participate in the lives of their favorite celebs. We see this to a degree already happening to Roan with all of the judgemental videos being made about her statements.

Now is a good time to say that it is also important to examine how Roan’s womanhood plays into her image and her time in the spotlight. Women are oppressed. That is a fact, and if you do not accept that, stop reading now because you will not get anything out of finishing my article. Women are an insanely harassed group. There is no beating around that, and according to the U.S. Department of Justice, women are more likely to be victims of stalking. I’d be willing to go out on a limb and say that being famous and relevant definitely increases those odds. That is why I find myself so horrified at those who are angry at Roan. It’s time that we accept that telling a female celebrity to put up with unwanted interactions sends a dangerous message. The scope of this issue, the reason that I am upset is larger than this situation and is larger than Chappell Roan. 

I urge you to ask your female friends or family members if they have ever been in a situation where they were pressured to tolerate unsafe or uncomfortable relationships or social contact out of fear of acting rudely. If you’re a woman I suggest you consider your own experiences as well because this is common. This mindset can be as simple as thinking I can’t block this weird guy on Instagram. That would be super mean. This way of thinking should be identified and reflected upon because it is dangerous. While the average woman won’t be asked for photos or autographs like a famous woman would, they can still be put in weird or stressful situations. The bottom line is, if you have a bad feeling about somebody, you shouldn’t have to keep talking to them. That primal “gut feeling” is designed to save your life, but it can only do that if you have the room to take it seriously. When the internet comes together to mock and judge a woman for setting a boundary with her fanbase, it solidifies this risky mindset for everybody. That’s why it does not matter that Chappell Roan is famous and successful. In fact, I think that makes it worse. If not even a cool celebrity can get people to listen to her, as a normal woman with no reach or influence whatsoever, what am I supposed to do? She expressed a boundary, and the public confused it with entitlement. It isn’t just “internet drama” or “celebrity gossip.” Women are being socially conditioned to ignore their discomfort and fear.

Looking beyond the surface is important, but this time around I really struggled. It’s upsetting. With everything in mind, the overwhelming response to Roan’s videos doesn’t just seem mean anymore. It’s a step back for feminism, or worse, a reminder that we haven’t moved far. It is a social justice problem. I wish that Chappell Roan was just being dramatic. I wish that she was being a “diva.” Unfortunately, she was responding to a very real issue, and arguably more unfortunately, many of her so-called fans could not understand this. Followers of Roan who were upset by her comments should understand that liking Chappell Roan is probably a prerequisite for being a fan. I know that the singer’s fanbase is predominantly female, likely including those who lashed out, which makes me feel awful. If I am describing you, I hope that you’ve changed your perspective, because you are not just bullying a celebrity but you are likely contributing to your own oppression.